EPIC Bar Fight 3020
by Library.Diarrhea
Summary: Chun-Li walks into a bar, SUDDENLY she has to stop lots and lots of evil from an alternative dimension.


Deadpool looked at Chun-Li's ass again despite being warned not to. She roundhouse kicked him and sent the silly little bastard flying into the jukebox. Some horrid country music song clicked on as Deadpool stumbled to his feet in a drunken manner.

Beeker, the bartender, made unintelligible beeping noises as he polished a glass and looked at Chun-Li. Chun-Li wondered if he was angry, scared, or happy?

Optimus Prime sat next to Chun-Li at the bar and ordered some oil. "Beeker just asked you out on a date." Optimus looked at Beeker with an apologetic look. Beeker in response managed to look more nervous than he previously had.

Chun-Li smiled from the side of her mouth. "Well I kind of like Muppets and your hair is cute."

Beeker made slow beeping noises and rubbed his hair.

Near the Jukebox Deadpool pretended to play wounded hoping to gain favor with Chun-Li. A doctor in a blue uniform walked over and inspected. He got frustrated almost immediately and screamed "Damn it Pool! I'm a doctor not some actor in your little game."

Deadpool spun around and sat cross-legged in front of the doctor. "But Bones you're such an amazing actor! I loved you in the Brave Little Toaster!"

"Hogwash, you're insane… other than that you're perfectly healthy."

Deadpool smiled and rocked back and forth. "Does this mean I get my lollypop?"

Dr. McCoy (Bones) grunted, "suck on something else."

Deadpool casually looked back at Chun-Li's ass once more. Her spider senses went off and she shot him in the head with a colt 45.

Beeker clapped his hands and Bones rolled his eyes.

JUST THEN a team of evil wizards appeared. They all had "666" scrated into the foreheads. THEY WERE EVIL!

Chun-Li calmly inspected the crowd as a wizard in a red robe approached Optimus Prime.

"You know why I'm here Prime…" said the red wizard.

Optimus Prime was also calm, in a cool way, and replied to the stupid face wizard. "I will never reveal the secret location of the plot device! NEVER!"

"Fuck you!" screamed the red wizard. "Come on I've been asking for years!"

"You would use it for evil. I cannot allow this."

The red wizard frowned evilly and took a dump in his pants. "Then you shall die here alone in this bar surrounded by strangers!"

Chun-Li put up her fists. "Gona need to get past my fists!"

Deadpool was on the floor with a bullet wound in his head and drunkenly waved around a katana as he slurred "…and my metal stick.."

Beeker waved a bottle of wine in the air and made affirmative beeping noises.

Dr. McCoy shook his head. "Ahh hell, as a southerner I aint never backed away from a good fight. You boys are in for it now."

The red wizard surveyed the bar. He and his wizards were more powerful and greatly outnumbered Optimus Prime and his new found… friends… red wizard was kind of jellous.

"We'll kill all of you then"

"YAY!" shouted all the other wizards in a gay fashion as they shot fireballs around the room.

Beeker screamed and hid behind the counter.

Optimus Prime didn't give a shit so used his body to protect the others. Chun-Li flying moon kicked the red wizard, but he disappeared using a teleportation spell.

"Duck!" screamed McCoy as he took cover. Deadpool stood still as the fireballs launched at him from all direction. "Where's the duck?" asked Deadpool as he caught on fire.

Deadpool screamed like a little bitch but some would say he was just being a drama queen.

One of the wizards was dancing to the country music… he was a poser.

The other wizards were in blood thirsty rage mode. One of the wizards took out a minigun and spayed the room with metallic death.

Chun-Li back flipped onto the ceiling and hugged it with her vagina muscles. Optimus Prime once again didn't care… he just stood there. McCoy used Deadpool as a human shield. Deadpool thought the bullets tickled. Beeker… died… like a bitch… a screaming bitch.

Chun-Li was super sad because she actually had a Muppet fetish and was thinking of doing nasty things to Beeker. 50 Shades of Beeker… hot sexy Beeker… it pissed her off so much! She tripled front flip lunge spin kicked the nearest wizard in the balls. This caused a massive scream. The other wizards were terrified.

"Where's mommy?" asked Deadpool as he stumbled in front of a new group of wizards. One of the wizards cast a freezing ice beam spell while another one slowed down time around Deadpool. Deadpool stood completely and utterly still.

"My god I need pancakes and hookers!" screamed Optimus Prime as he ran out of the front entrance. He looked back at Chun-Li… "um, can you save the world." He left without hearing her answer.

McCoy scratched his butthole in anger. "That Optimum Asshole! Looks like it's up to us you Shanghai Hottie!"

Chun-Li shook her head. "No fuck that." She then super-duper quadrupole helicopter motion flying flaming butterfly eagle kicked everyone in the room… then vomited. The kicked killed everyone including Dr. McCoy.

The red wizard was still alive kind of… like on the ground grasping his internal organs.

"Please…" begged the red wizard holding his hand out.

Chun-Li approached while trying to hold in a fart and a giggle. "You would beg for your life?"

"No…"

"What then?!"

"Please… I want a happy ending." The wizard smiled in a flirtatious death gurgling way.

Chun-Li smiled and touched her body sensually as she slowly approached. The mood was right and it was magic time. Then she ripped his internal organs out and ate them.

5 years later…

Deadpool walked out of the bar.


End file.
